Was thinking of all those major embarrassing moments i have had in my life and just laughing to myself.....*now i can laugh but when they happened i felt like i could hide in a dark hole till people forgot* Here are just a few crazy ones
1. Open fly: Am sure this first one many people can ralate to it,just walking in the streets minding your own biznich and feeling yourself then a total stranger taps you on the shoulder and goes like,"Pardon me,your fly is open" and you are wondering 'WTH! No one could have pointed it out earlier and the way i have been up and about.All the way from home to tao amd not even the watchman who likes to stare could point it out?!!!'
Well,my incident happened when i was told to deliver some motivational speech to some students from my former Primary school.Mind you, am already terrified about public sspeaking-i turn all red and sweat like a pig,emitting a waterfall from my armpits.haha...But i have worked on that fear over the years.So,here I am in front of all these kids delivering my "power speech" and one of the girls keeps Pssting me and calling my name and am wondering what's up with her.When i finally ask her what she wants to tell me she shouts all the way across the room "Your fly is open!We can all see what's in there."Lets just say that was the end of my speech....
Next incident of an open fly was sometime last year when i was out shopping and while i was in one of those exhibitions in town the lady goes like "Madam,unajua suruali yako imefunguka zip?!" Like seriously?????!
2.Boob flash:Yeah...yeah...i know it already sounds embarassing enough so i wont even divulge into the details.Just know it was at a resturant...I keep telling myself no one saw anything but we all know it's a lie.People wonder why i hate strapless dresses and low cut halter tops-now they know.
3.Skirt Drop: All my high school classmates might remember this one.It was just aweful....Where do I begin>>>Was in form one and it was just after the first visiting day and you all know how students tend to eat like there is no tomorrow.This was the only day you got to enjoy a home cooked meal in such a long time and in a school like where i was hakuna grab or other foodstuffs allowed we just had to make the best of this special day.So,here i am so full-like it's christmas-my stomach ofcourse is complaining and i cant even close the button to that oversize hedious skirt we called uniform.Class is going on-It was a History and the teacher was the one and only Mr.Mwisa,I will never forget-am seated there nursing the worst stomach ache ever and I hear him call out my name to stand and demonstarate somthing to the class.Being caught off-guard and forgetting i had opened the button and zipper to my skirt to create more room for my swollen stomach i just stood up and it fell and I stood there in my undies in shock as the whole class burst out laughing.The rest is a blur...
4. Chewing gum and a f*rt: Before y'all start judging...it's healthy to pass gas and none of you can pretend that in their entire existence they did not at one time pass gas.lol. This actually happend sometime this year.After a long day in tao,up and about it was time to go home and i want some peace of mind so i board the 'mature people' mat which is the double m ofcourse.I just love the way they are quiet and they don't carry excess passangers so you have you own space and no ones arse is rubbing against your face or sweaty armpit after a long hot day is in your space.Back to me in the double m looking like a million bux (wish i actually had the million.hehe) all dressed up and looking pretty even after a long day *can't help it:)* chewing my gum discretly when i get the sudden urge to sneeze coz some punk a*s is wearing cheap cologne.Before i know it i sneezed...let out a loud f*rt and the gum i was chewing flew outta my mouth and landed on some poor lady's weave coz i hadn't had enough time to cover my mouth.I had to stealthily stretch out and grab the gum before she noticed and throw it out.I haven't chewd gum in public since that day.
5. Ripped Dress: To start off, I am not a huge fan of skirts and dresses but since this year i made a resolution to tap more into my feminine side, my closet has more dresses and skirts than ever before.Plus I try to wear them atleast once or twice a month.(-_-) Still working on that though.The reason am not into it is because i fell the breeze getting into the NOT-TO-GO
zones.Plus with the polluted air in Nairobi,I dont want weird air getting to my tenders.(...Paranoid much?..)But to solve this issue am grateful for whoever invented leggings and stockings and.....whatever else that is in that category.It's a beautiful friday midmorning and am supposed to meet with some friends for lunch so i decide am going to wear this pretty lil summer dress but when boarding the mat I hear a loud rip-the touts start laughing and it has not hit me that that was my dress so i strut to the back seat confidently (it is the only spot left) and wondering why people are staring at me just smiling.By the time i load what's going on it's already too late to alight, go back home and change.I get to CBD and decide to walk like I run the town and don't care if my dress is ripped.All in all i fixed it asap:)
6.Booty flash: Just like the boob flash i like to pretend it never happened so i won't say much.
Am sure there are people who have experienced worse than me somewhere so lemme laugh about my embarrasing moments now coz i have a feeling there are many more to come but atleast am a bit immune now...
Stay bleesed and have an awesome weekend!!
lol...XD
ReplyDelete