OH NO!!.

Things that people do that just make me go NKT or give them 'The-eye' coz it's plain weird and gross ...And if you have by any chance done one of the following shame shame on you!!

• Those people behind you in a queue that stand so close that you can feel their entire front parts on your back and when you try to be polite and move to give them space its like you are stuck together coz when you move he/she moves...aaaargh!

• Then comes the people who pick their noses-the chronic nose pickers-and then insist on shaking your hand.EEEEWWW....Strange thing is that when they have their fingers shoved deep in their nasal cavities harvesting the boogers it's like the rest of the world disappears and they are all alone shamelessly picking and picking and PICKING!! What makes this more gross is when they decide to investigate their "findings" and you are silently staring and praying..."please don't eat it.PLEASE".They round it into a ball and flick it.That reminds me some sucker did that and it landed on my lap while we were in a mat,then acted like it wasn't him....Was totally pissed!!!!Then there are those who wipe it off on the seat...

If you are going to pick your nose do it behind closed doors and pleeeease use a handkechief!
                                           

•   Another habit that is just barbaric is SPITTIG in public.Why oh why do you do this??I have several times witnessed people spitting in tao and am just waiting for it to land on someones foot or trouser one day then a fight erupts and all hell breaks lose and we all know Kenyans can be very angry people especially during rush hour when all you just want to do is get home asap and relax after a long day.What of those who spit through out in a moving car?..and depending on the direction of the wind and speed it comes flying back in through the back window.Oh my!

So,if you have ever been javing and you have your window open enjoying the wind  running through your hair and caressing your face then suddenly felt some wet droplets and thought it was a drizzle and clearly the skies are cloudless....well,now you know what it was!

• Then comes those who drag their feet...especially ladies!The room is quiet then you and your heavy feet decide to drag your shoes-mostly it's sandals-all the way to the back of the room almost leaving the floor with scuff marks and everyone cringing!While on that note, this reminds me of those heels that make a ka-sound when you walk-if you know you are going to wear them you should get to the room before everyone and take your seat instead of distracting the whole hall with those bean planters...(in case you don't know why they are nicknamed that it's coz on wet ground they make those tiny holes that look like those dug up when planting beans).*It was a direct translation.hehee

•  Crotch scratchers......I don't know if they do it thinking no one is watching or the itch is just too sweet to ignore.There are those who can really scratch till whoever is witnessing can feel the crotch get a friction burn.Am not saying it's wrong to scratch your goodies-all am saying is do it in private.We can only imagine what's up with your down there and you wouldn't want to know our conclusions.

The list is endless but you catch my drift...right??Those things that someone does and you cant help but wonder if they are just plain retarded.

Before i forget,what's with ladies plucking all their eyebrows lately and then proceeding  to draw some obviously fake and scary ones on that make you think they had a backfired facelift or they were in accident and their brow was the only part that sufferd a major blow...Anyway, as the saying goes: Kila nyani na starehe zake.:)

Beautiful week people!

*BLUSH*

Here I am awake almost 2a.m and I got an early morning tomorrow...(O_o)

Was thinking of all those major embarrassing moments i have had in my life and just laughing to myself.....*now i can laugh but when they happened i felt like i could hide in a dark hole till people forgot*  Here are just a few crazy ones 


1. Open fly: Am sure this first one many people can ralate to it,just walking in the streets minding your own biznich and feeling yourself then a total stranger taps you on the shoulder and goes like,"Pardon me,your fly is open" and you are wondering 'WTH! No one could have pointed it out earlier and the way i have been up and about.All the way from home to tao amd not even the watchman who likes to stare could point it out?!!!'
Well,my incident happened when i was told to deliver some motivational speech to some students from my former Primary school.Mind you, am already terrified about public sspeaking-i turn all red and sweat like a pig,emitting a waterfall from my armpits.haha...But i have worked on that fear over the years.So,here I am in front of all these kids delivering my "power speech" and one of the girls  keeps Pssting me and calling my name and am wondering what's up with her.When i finally ask her what she wants to tell me she shouts all the way across the room "Your fly is open!We can all see what's in there."Lets just say  that was the end of my speech....
Next incident of an open fly was sometime last year when i was out shopping and while i was in one of those exhibitions in town the lady goes like "Madam,unajua suruali yako imefunguka zip?!" Like seriously?????!






 2.Boob flash:Yeah...yeah...i know it already sounds embarassing enough so i wont even divulge into the details.Just know it was at a resturant...I keep telling myself no one saw anything but we all know it's a lie.People wonder why i hate strapless dresses and low cut halter tops-now they know.

3.Skirt Drop: All my high school classmates might remember this one.It was just aweful....Where do I begin>>>Was in form one and it was just after the first visiting day and you all know how students tend to eat like there is no tomorrow.This was the only day you got to enjoy a home cooked meal in such a long time and in a school like where i was hakuna grab or other foodstuffs allowed we just had to make the best of this special day.So,here i am so full-like it's christmas-my stomach ofcourse is complaining and i cant even close the button to that oversize hedious skirt we called uniform.Class is going on-It was a History and the teacher was the one and only Mr.Mwisa,I will never forget-am seated there nursing the worst stomach ache ever and I hear him call out my name to stand and demonstarate somthing to the class.Being caught off-guard and forgetting i had opened the button and zipper to my skirt to create more room for my swollen stomach i just stood up and it fell and I stood there in my undies in shock as the whole class burst out laughing.The rest is a blur...



4. Chewing gum and a f*rt: Before y'all start judging...it's healthy to pass gas and none of you can pretend that in their entire existence they did not at one time pass gas.lol. This actually happend sometime this year.After a long day in tao,up and about it was time to go home and i want some peace of mind so i board the 'mature people' mat which is the double m ofcourse.I just love the way they are quiet and they don't carry excess passangers so you have you own space and no ones arse  is rubbing against your face or sweaty armpit after a long hot day is in your space.Back to me in the double m  looking like a million bux (wish i actually had the million.hehe) all dressed up and looking pretty even after a long day *can't help it:)* chewing my gum discretly when i get the sudden urge to sneeze coz some punk a*s is wearing cheap cologne.Before i know it i sneezed...let out a loud f*rt and the gum i was chewing flew outta my mouth and landed on some poor lady's weave coz i hadn't had enough time to cover my mouth.I had to stealthily stretch out and grab the gum before she noticed and throw it out.I haven't chewd gum in public since that day.

5. Ripped Dress: To start off, I am not a huge fan of skirts and dresses but since this year i made a resolution to tap more into my feminine side, my closet  has more dresses and skirts than ever before.Plus I try to wear them atleast once or twice a month.(-_-) Still working on that though.The reason am not into it is because i fell the breeze getting into the NOT-TO-GO
zones.Plus with the polluted air in Nairobi,I dont want weird air getting to my tenders.(...Paranoid much?..)But to solve this issue am grateful for whoever invented leggings and stockings and.....whatever else that is in that category.It's a beautiful friday midmorning and am supposed to meet with some friends for lunch so i decide am going to wear this pretty lil summer dress but when boarding the mat I hear a loud rip-the touts start laughing and it has not hit me that that was my dress so i strut to the back seat confidently (it is the only spot left) and wondering why people are staring at me just smiling.By the time i load what's going on it's already too late to alight, go back home and change.I get to CBD and decide to walk like I run the town and don't care if my dress is ripped.All in all i fixed it asap:)



6.Booty flash: Just like the boob flash i like to pretend it never happened so i won't say much.






Am sure there are people who have experienced worse than me somewhere so lemme laugh about my embarrasing moments now coz i have a feeling there are many more to come but atleast am a bit immune now...


Stay bleesed and have an awesome weekend!!